Breaking Point
by hundan
Summary: The promise they made was for the best, because they cared for each other. But what happens when he betrays that promise? It pushes her to her breaking point.
1. Chapter 1

**New Fic! I know I haven't update His Girl in a bit but my muse is frozen on that but I am working on trying to fix it. In the meantime I have this fic for you, I have been working on this in the background for a while now, about since EJ's first appearance on NCIS so this is situated about there. Warning, there is some bad language in this. Enjoy!**

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><p>As soon as Ziva met this EJ Barrett she didn't like her. So it seems was Tony's opinion too, but as always when a beautiful woman that could captivate a man came on the scene Tony became lost in them. In Ziva's years watching Tony become easily pulled in by these woman it lead Ziva to believe that Tony had a weakness towards them, but towards herself he seemed to be very strong and she didn't know why that was.<p>

And sure Tony had always been captivated by woman but he would never really step up to the woman and do something seriously about it, well sometimes, but not always. And there was just something about the way he looked at this EJ person that gave Ziva a gut feeling it wouldn't be a happy thing for her.

She was sure nothing was going to happen, until she went to confront this EJ woman in the woman's showers, where she knew she had been showering each day after work, and that's when she saw them. They were close, as though they were about to kiss and then he whispered something about them breaking a rule, she replied saying no they weren't and he pushed his lips to hers and hands to her sides.

Ziva had to leave at that point, she couldn't watch that, not when it was so relevant to her and Tony's relationship. Relevant to why what happened in Paris hadn't followed them home. They had slept together that night in Paris, not just slept. They hadn't had passionate sex like they both thought would happen after five years of holding back, no they had made sweet love in the Parisian hotel together.

And they talked that morning, before they made love a second time and before they had a calm breakfast at the coffee shop. They both knew they couldn't continue what they started when they got back home to America. They had agreed it was, in the end, because they respected Gibbs and his rules, including the infamous rule 12.

But for some reason Tony seems to have forgotten just how much he thought he respected those rules now, as he got hot with Agent EJ in the shower room. Seriously Ziva even wondered why she bothered with Tony sometimes, he was one of the biggest jerks on the planet at times, but you can't help who you love. And she loves him, and she can't help it.

Things had been smooth for them, Ziva had even found a nice guy Ray, he was good, steady and a really nice guy, but he truly would never measure up to what Tony meant to her, no one would ever. Tony showed he was jealous about Ray but they knew it was inevitable he did by how much they cared for each other, but that alliance had been put there for rule 12 and it was staying.

Thinking about it now, maybe he didn't care that much. If he was willing to break that rule for this woman on the second day of knowing her and not break it for her after a further year since they had promised to stick by it after five years of painstakingly staying away from each other, really it made her furious. He was a stupid, idiot, jerk, dick, jackass, nitwit, and a twit. And she couldn't stop hating what he has just done to her; she would probably never forgive him for doing this.

She still loved him and that was hard when she tried to move on but she had still tried to move on, as horrible as it was. But then he willingly does something that could have made it easier for her if he broke that rule with her, but no he did it with someone else, not her. At least he would have his fun; she hoped it lasted for him because she sure as hell wasn't going to be fun for him after this.

She didn't even know if she could stand to be friends with him after this, he knew so well just how much making that alliance with him meant to both of them. They made it knowing it would be hard for them but they did it out of respect, which he obviously didn't have. How could she stand to be friends with a man who broke her heart and broke that alliance they had with another woman, he pretty much betrayed her and she just couldn't handle him doing that.

At least it was Friday night and she wouldn't see him until Monday, she may be able to hide her pain before Monday comes.

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><p>She was woken at 11am the next day by the sound of her phone vibrating against her bedside table, signaling she had a text. She reached over blindly and opened it and blinked at the screen until her sleepy eyes focused. It was from none other than one Anthony DiNozzo himself.<p>

_Hey Zi_

_Did you still want to catch the special screening of the classic film Godfather at that theater in town tonight? Then we could ger dinner afterwards at that new Italian restaurant? _

_T_

As inviting as that sounded and how much of a good time she knew she would have like she always did when they went out like this, she just couldn't.

_Sorry I'll have to pass tonight._

No casual _Z _was put at the end like they always did; she just didn't have the effort for it anymore.

_Aww come on Ziva I know you cant resist it, and I know just how excited you are to go with me, you were talking all about it on Wednesday. I'll pay for dinner, the movie and popcorn? :D_

_T_

He tried and it made her sad to think just how excited she had actually been about this weekend with him, and how much she wanted to go and forget about the whole EJ thing but her alliance with him meant to much and he broke it, and the reply she gave next she didn't mean to say but it happened and she sent it.

_I said no, how about you ask you new girlfriend EJ._

It was what she said and he didn't text her back as quick as he had been and when she expected a text back her phone began to ring, he called her this time. However she decided she wasn't going to start a fight over the phone with him, she would ignore him and leave him be to do what he wanted, so she didn't answer it. She just left it and tossed her phone somewhere and rolled over in bed back under the covers.

Later that day when she had surfaced from bed, showered and dressed she went for a walk. She walked to her favourite place to go, a park in the centre of the city. It had large trees lining the path that traveled through the whole park and there where many benches and seats around, even a small pond with a handful of ducks. She didn't know why she liked it so much; just ever since she first went for a run in America she had found it and fallen in love with the simple, bright and claming place.

She sat on one of the benches and she was sure she sat there for a few good hours. She watched as families with small children went passed, laughing and being happy. Ziva was jealous of that; she had always wanted a family. It was her end dream to do that here in America, she just wondered if that would ever happen. She watched as different ages walked passed taking their dogs out walking.

She watched a few happy couples walking passed, holding hands, smiling, kissing. And god she was jealous of that. That was something she was really jealous of. She had tried so hard since she had got to America to find that, to find that happiness with someone. Ray, he was the closet she had at the moment, she was happy with him but Tony, Tony just stood in the way between her being really happy with someone else. She couldn't help it though.

She had been sort of happy with Michael but he was playing her and she hadn't realized that until she was stuck in that desert in that cell. And she regretted not trusting Tony when she should have. Tony, he made her happy but she couldn't have him. That moment they shared in Paris, that is what she was looking for, it's what she wanted. But it never returned with them because there were rules against it and they were going to follow those rules. Well she would anyways.

She was going to try with Ray, because Ray was a good man and he made her smile. He brought her nice things. He was stable. She just couldn't help that part of her that cared a bit too much for her partner. But he was off screwing EJ and he had hurt her so she wasn't going to think about him.

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><p>That next Monday when she showed up to work she was glad Tony wasn't there yet. However EJ was. Ziva could hear the woman behind her muttering something about the skylight and Ziva rolled her eyes. Then the muttering stopped.<p>

"Agent David" Ziva heard EJ say and Ziva turned around to see EJ standing on the other side on the wall between their bullpens.

"Yes Agent Barrett" Ziva said as politely as she could manage.

"Did you talk to Tony this weekend?" she asked casually. Why they hell would EJ be asking her that?

"No" Ziva replied. Turning back to her computer, but she did realize that EJ didn't move from her spot behind her.

"Well he's on edge for some reason and I just wondered if you knew anything about it?" EJ asked. And yes Ziva could probably guess what had made him on edge but it was his fault in the end.

"No, I have not spoken to him" Ziva lied. True she hadn't _spoken_ to him but she did know why he was on edge. She heard EJ sigh.

"Ok, thanks anyways" EJ replied and moved back to her desk.

McGee showed up not too long after that and then a little after that Tony arrived. Out of the corner of her eye Ziva watched Tony stare at her. He sat at his desk and just watched her. After a long while of him doing that she couldn't take it anymore. She brought her eyes to his, his were confused and angry.

"What Tony?" Ziva snapped. She didn't mean to snap at him but she did. He opened his mouth to reply when Gibbs walked in and told them to 'gear up'.

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><p>They had managed to stay silent all the way to the crime scene that was out in the woods. A marine had been shot in the back of the head and left there in the middle of the thick trees where there was an opening. They had interviewed the one witness that had found the body while on a hike and he was let go. Now they were gathering all the evidence. Tony was taking photos while Ziva and McGee gathered evidence. Gibbs had walked back to the cars a little bit away to go find Ducky and Palmer.<p>

And that's when the tension had snapped between them, and McGee got stuck in the firing line.

"Get a photo of that" Ziva had instructed Tony.

"I already did" Tony snapped at her. She lifted her eyes to him and shot him a glare.

"You do not have to snap at me like that, I didn't know" she growled back at him.

"Well you snapped at me this morning so what makes you so special?" he shot back. Ziva stood up then and stepped into his personal space. McGee kept quiet; he was not getting involved in this.

"Special like you because you decide you can break that promise" she almost yelled at him, jabbing her finger into his chest. He stood his ground and he realized what this was about.

"It's not the same" he argued back.

"No?" she snapped.

"No it isn't, she isn't on our team, she doesn't follow the rules" he explained, raising his voice.

"That is bullshit Tony, you know it's the same thing, were working with her on a shared case which is still in progress and anyone that works under Gibbs abides by those rules" she yelled. McGee felt as though he knew what this was about, he had a feeling this had something to do with EJ Barrett.

"It's not the same" he yelled right back again. She didn't believe for one second it wasn't the same thing, because it was.

"Yes it is, you just like to go around hurting me don't you" she fired back. He saw in her eyes the hurt she had. But why was she worrying, she had her Ray of sunshine didn't she?

"What about CI-Ray? Does he not mean anything to you now?" Tony growled back at her. She blinked a few times; she hadn't expected him to bring Ray up.

"You know he doesn't mean as much as you do" she shouted at him. He did know that, he did know that the way she looked at him meant more than they would verbalize. McGee felt as though he was intruding, this was definitely a very personal conversation; however he didn't move. His head would probably be shot off if he did.

"I don't want to be alone anymore Ziva" he snapped back. God he wanted her but he couldn't.

"So you go and chose the one person that goes against that promise we made. Do you know how much you hurt me by doing that?" she raised her voice to a yell again, and he could see the tears building up in her eyes. When he went to EJ he didn't think this would be breaking the promise, he didn't think that EJ would fall under those rules. But she had. And he had gotten himself into a mess now.

"No I don't Ziva, you never talk to me and you shut me down!" he yelled. She knew he was talking about when she ditched him on the weekend.

"I did not want to speak to you" she shot back.

"If you had talked to me about it, I would have stopped it" he stated. If he knew he would of.

"Can I really believe you? You just don't think. You are so thick sometimes!" she yelled. It hurt that she called him that.

"We should never have done what we did" he confessed, she knew he was talking about Paris.

"If I remember rightly _you _were the one who made the first move, _you _were the one who came up with the idea, the promise we made" she accused. He scoffed.

"Oh and you didn't have any say in it? No I just did it all on my own" he snapped back sarcastically. He wasn't ready for it when she slapped him forcefully in the chest with her palm.

"Why must you always be such an ass" she yelled in his face. He saw the tear that fell down her cheek.

"I hate you so much" she yelled and slapped him harder in the chest this time. He took the hit, he realized now how much he had really hurt her, and he knew he was an ass. He deserved to be hurt right back. Just then Gibbs appeared from the trees with Ducky and Palmer right behind him.

"When will you finally realize how much you hurt me? I can't stand to take it anymore" she yelled in his face and another tear fell while her hands pushed at his chest. He stood there; he couldn't believe how stupid he was.

"I hate you!" she exclaimed again. One more time she pushed him so hard he lost his balance and fell to the ground on his back. Her eyes stared down at him, teary and full of hurt.

In the next second Gibbs had his arms around Ziva, gently pulling her away from him. Tony flung his head back and covered his face with his hands; he had really fucked up this time, and for what? To sleep with EJ? EJ was nothing compared to what Ziva meant to him, no one would ever mean as much as Ziva did to him. But he didn't know if Ziva would ever forgive him again.

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><p><strong>Hope to have the next update tomorrow, I just need to fix a few things on it but it's almost done. Love to hear your thoughts on this :)<strong>

**Hundan**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all the reviews and alerts for this story. Here is the next chapter!**

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><p>As soon as Gibbs had pulled Ziva away from Tony he tried to comfort her, but she couldn't handle that right now. She wriggled out of his hold and stormed off towards the cars out of the woods. He didn't miss the tears rolling down her cheeks. He turned to the scene he had just broken up. Tony had his hands covering his face, lying on his back where he had been pushed to the ground.<p>

McGee it looked like hadn't moved since the argument began, he looked scared to say something or move. He knew Tony and Ziva could have some really heated arguments but by the looks of things, this was their worst one. Behind him Palmer was standing frozen, he was completely shocked at what he had just seen. Ducky, he had a look of worry on his face, he as well as Gibbs knew that these two had some personal feelings and it seems as though those feelings had finally blown up at a nuclear level.

This was exactly what Gibbs didn't want. He walked over towards Tony and he gave McGee a look and he finally moved from his spot and walked over towards Ducky and Palmer.

"Tony" Gibbs said gently as he now stood next to his senior field agent.

"What?" Tony snapped back, not lifting his hands from his face.

"Tony look at me" Gibbs stated in a firmer tone. Tony moved his hands away from his face slowly. Gibbs saw that Tony's eyes were the closet to tears he had ever seen them; Gibbs knew the younger man was close to letting them go. Whatever went down with Ziva, it must have been big. Gibbs squatted down next to Tony.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" Gibbs asked softly. Tony sighed and closed his eyes.

"We just had a fight, that's all" Tony explained.

"_Just _a fight? Tony I know you two fight sometimes but you have never been physical about it, and Ziva she walked away crying. That's not just something small" at those words Tony sniffed back his tears and brought his hand to his face.

"I fucked up boss, big time" Tony admitted. Gibbs reached out and put his hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony removed his hand from his face.

"Whatever you did, you need to fix it" Gibbs stated. He knew Ziva would forgive Tony if he tried, well Gibbs hoped she would anyways. He needed them both on his team. Tony sat up then and got to his feet.

"I can't; she won't forgive me for this. I can't take back what I did to her" Tony yelled. Gibbs sighed. Tony was angry again. Gibbs stood and faced his agent.

"What did you do to her?" Gibbs asked. Pressing his luck.

"I slept with EJ" Tony snapped. It slipped out, he was angry. Gibbs was mad by that fact, Tony should have known he shouldn't be sleeping with someone involved with his team, it was his rules. And then it clicked in Gibbs' head, Ziva would only be this upset about Tony sleeping with EJ for one reason, he broke a rule with EJ that he could of with her. And Ziva was much more deserving of it. God dammit his agents were walking a thin line now.

"You what?" Gibbs questioned. He needed an explanation now.

"You heard what I said" Tony yelled at his boss. He wasn't in the mood for this right now; he didn't need that rule 12 lecture from his boss when he had pretty much got it from Ziva already, just in a different context. Then Tony walked off, towards the cars. Gibbs headed after him after realizing that was the way Ziva had gone, it wouldn't be a good idea to leave the two of them alone.

"McGee, finish the scene" Gibbs ordered and he gave Ducky a look that Ducky knew to go on and do his thing.

Tony reached the cars and Ziva was leaning her back against the dodge, which had the medical van parked next to it. Her head was down. His anger was swapped for sadness at the sight; he walked over in front of her.

"Ziva look at me" he said gently. She shook her head.

"Tony leave me alone, I do not want to speak to you" she replied, not looking at him. He brought his hand to the side of her face and tried lifting her gaze to him but she flicked her face out of his hand.

"Tony don't" she pressed out. He tired again.

"Ziva please" he pleaded. She flicked her head away again and snapped her eyes to his.

"Just. Don't. Touch. Me" she replied painfully. He watched another tear stain her cheek and he got upset. He clenched his jaw and his fists and turned around and punched his fist into the medical van. Twice. How could he have done this to her? To them?

"Ziva I'm sorry" he whispered as he leant his forehead against the van. After a while he turned around when he got no answer, she wasn't there, Gibbs stood there.

"I don't think sorry is going to cut it with this one Tony" Gibbs explained.

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><p>Later when they returned to the bullpen Ziva was the only one missing. Gibbs had sent her home for the day. He couldn't have Tony and Ziva working together when they couldn't be in the same room yet without yelling at each other. Tony had fractured his hand when he punched the van, leaving dents in it. However he didn't want to go home, he was convinced to work. Get his mind off Ziva as much as he could. But he was finding it hard.<p>

He wasn't talking to anyone unless he had to, so he was very quiet. At one point he was left alone in the bullpen and EJ strutted over to his bullpen and placed herself on the edge of his desk. She even dared to put her hand on his shoulder.

"Please, just don't" Tony asked. He didn't look up at her, just kept working on his computer. He stopped when she gently picked up his hand.

"Tony what did you do?" she asked, looking over his bruised and bandaged hand. He pulled his hand out of her grip.

"I said don't" he stated, looking up at her. She didn't seem too happy at his attitude towards her.

"Why are you in a mood all of a sudden? Saturday night you started being all like this and now it's gotten worse" EJ confronted him.

"EJ I don't think this is going to work" he stated, talking about what they had going on.

"What?" she asked. Had she heard him right?

"I can't see you anymore, it's just not going to work" Tony explained. EJ watched him confused. She thought that the other night was going to be the start of something good. She didn't get the vibe from him that it was going to be a one night thing.

"Does this have to do with why you're in a mood? And why Gibbs is shitty and McGee is frightened looking and quiet?" EJ said. She had seen his team come in all cranky earlier. But she hadn't seen all of his team return…

"Does this have something to do with Agent David?" EJ pressed. By the way he avoided her eyes she knew it had something to do with her. EJ was always suspicious something was there between Tony and her.

"Why would it have something to do with me and Ziva?" he lied.

"I know it does, I am a trained investigator, I know you are lying" EJ stated. He lifted his eyes back to hers.

"Well yeah then it does, if you really want to know. She's been my partner for six years; I think that's more important than someone I just met" he replied. With all the stuff going on now with Ziva, he didn't need EJ complicating things even more. He had a bit of fun with her but he didn't love her like he did Ziva.

"What did she do? Is she the one that hurt your hand? You can't trust assassins like her, her bad past will always follow her" EJ stated. Tony shot her daggers.

"Don't you dare say that" Tony replied.

"Well it's true, she'll always have that past and it's only a matter of time until that violence resurfaces" EJ explained. Tony knew that EJ was wrong, very wrong about Ziva. And to be honest, it was starting to really piss him off. He stood from his chair and slammed his good hand on his desk, making EJ flinch.

"I don't want to ever hear you bad mouth her again" Tony stated, pointing his finger at EJ. And then he walked off, ignoring Gibbs who was coming back into the bullpen at that moment. Gibbs wasn't going to chase him down yet, he would give him a few minutes to calm down while _he_ dealt with Agent Barrett.

"Wow Gibbs he has a bit of a temper, you might want to watch that" EJ stated, walking over to stand in front of Gibbs' desk. Gibbs didn't look up from his paperwork in his hand.

"You would know as well as I would, I mean you did sleep with him" Gibbs replied casually. EJ was speechless; she didn't know he knew that.

"Who said I did that?" she shot back.

"I heard it straight from his mouth" Gibbs replied. EJ thought that they were keeping that to themselves, obviously not.

"My personal life matters to you because?" she asked. He finally looked up from his paper at her.

"Because you are involved with my team on this P2P killer thing and that means you follow my rules" Gibbs explained.

"Your rules huh? What would that be?" EJ replied, crossing her arms in front her chest in the defensive stance.

"Rule number twelve, never date a co-worker. It applies to you" he replied. And he knew that Tony and Ziva would be mixed in that rule somewhere, and he would have his discussion with them later. When they had sorted their stuff out between them first. But EJ, he knew that she needed to back off. Her in this mix just wasn't going to make things any easier. And he had heard Tony's conversation with her; he didn't want anything to do with her in that way anymore.

"And you don't think Tony and David are breaking that rule?" EJ said. He knew they hadn't really yet because of his rule, but after his talk with McGee about what had happened earlier Gibbs knew that something had gone down at one time but hadn't continued.

"They know the rules" Gibbs replied. EJ scoffed at Gibbs. Like she believed they followed them. She was about to argue when Gibbs interrupted.

"If you interfere with someone on my team again, you'll hear about it" Gibbs stated in a stern voice. EJ got his warning. She stood up and left, she couldn't be bothered with Tony anymore, even though he was the most talented man she had shared a bed with.

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><p>When Tony returned from his little breather to the bullpen Gibbs and McGee were gearing up.<p>

"Boss we got something?" Tony asked, trying to get back into work and forget about what has happened personally to him today.

"McGee found a connection to a warehouse owned by Thomas Jackson, were heading out to check it out" Gibbs explained, glad Tony had calmed down a bit. Tony nodded and grabbed his gear, following them out to the elevator.

It was routine, normal how they always did it. Gibbs and McGee took the front of the warehouse while Tony took the back. When they got in there they searched a few rooms and seemed to find nothing, no one in there. Well that was until a shot went off. Gibbs and McGee looked at each other before running towards where the shot had come from. Two more shots followed and McGee and Gibbs ran faster.

"Tony!" Gibbs yelled out, god he hoped Tony wasn't hit. They got no reply and McGee kept shouting his name but getting no response. Then when Gibbs had gone a different way in search of Tony, McGee heard something.

"McGee in here" he heard a soft voice call out. He turned to the next room and saw Tony on his back, blood beginning to stain the front of his designer suit. Next to Tony was their suspect, shot twice in the chest, not moving. McGee kicked the gun away from the suspect before collapsing on his knees next to Tony.

"Man down boss!" McGee yelled back towards his boss, wherever he had gone. McGee immediately pushed his hands onto the bullet wound in Tony's left shoulder. And shit, Tony was bleeding a lot.

"Hold on Tony, you're gonna be ok" McGee assured him. Tony nodded lightly and his head slowly dropped back onto the concrete with a small thud as it was too much effort for him to hold it up and look at McGee's hands on his bloody chest.

"Tony just listen to my voice" McGee stated.

"Tim, how bad?" Tony asked. Just then their boss burst in the door, cell phone in hand, calling the ambulance. His eyes went to horror as he saw his agent on the floor bleeding.

"Not good is it boss?" Tony asked weakly. By the look on his boss' face, it wasn't good. Gibbs hung up the phone and moved over next to McGee.

"You're going to be fine Tony, I don't give you permission to die yet" Gibbs stated. Tony remembered the last time he almost died when Gibbs had said that. Tony had been close to dying that time, so it must be bad. Tony coughed then and McGee gave Gibbs a worrying look at the blood that came out as he did.

"Ok boss" Tony replied weakly. McGee could see him go paler as the seconds rolled by, and when he brought one of his hands up to Tony's forehead his skin was clammy and getting cold.

"Tony you'll be alright" McGee continued to assure him. McGee began to become very, very nervous. No matter how much Tony irritated him McGee loved him like a brother. And no one wants to lose their brother. Then sirens were heard and Gibbs rushed out to go find the paramedics. Tony's hand grabbed McGee's wrist then and pulled on his arm, getting his attention.

"Tim I want you to listen to me-" Tony began but McGee cut him off. He wasn't going to let Tony give him his dying last words, he wasn't going to die.

"I don't want to hear it Tony, your going to be fine" McGee stated but then Tony reached up and grabbed the side of McGee's face. Tony was serious about something.

"Tim listen to me, don't forget what I say. I need you to do this for me ok?" Tony asked. McGee could hear his voice losing its strength. It was barely there.

"Ok" McGee nodded.

"If…if I don't make it I need you to tell Ziva…tell Ziva that I love her ok?" Tony asked. McGee saw the tear that escaped Tony's eyes and rolled down his cheek.

"I need you to tell her that for me Tim, I need her to know" Tony whispered.

"Ok Tony, but I want you to do something for me too?" McGee asked. He didn't want Tony to give up. Tony nodded weakly. He was so pale now and his eyelids had become heavy.

"I want you to tell her yourself ok?" McGee asked. Tony opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out and Tony's grip loosened on McGee and his arm fell down. McGee pushed harder on the wound.

"Tony! No, Tony wake up!" McGee cried out. Then McGee was pushed out of the way and paramedics took over. McGee sat back and watched as his motionless brother lay in a pool of his own blood. McGee felt tears stain his own cheeks.

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><p><strong>I love McGee, he is so adorable and he sort of just worked in this scene how I wanted him too. I won't leave you hanging too long after this chapter, I promise :) I'll update in the next day or two. Love to hear your thoughts. <strong>

**Hundan**


	3. Chapter 3

**I continue to love all of you that review on my story, so much so I have got a new update for you already!**

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><p>Ziva had just got off the phone with Ray. He had called her like he would sometimes and Ziva just couldn't help but need to be alone at the moment. She broke things off with Ray, telling him she needed time to sort some things out. Those things being? Tony. She didn't tell Ray that part though. Ray had understood, he said if she needed a break it was alright with him, he would still be waiting for her after. Ray sounded a bit upset and unconfident about that however.<p>

The reason why? Ziva hadn't looked at her caller ID when she picked up the phone; she was upset and wasn't thinking, she thought it was Tony. Calling into the phone 'Tony I don't want to hear it, you have done enough' would most likely put Ray's suspicions about Tony into play. Ray had already asked Ziva constantly about her and Tony's relationship, he always found something hinky about it.

She really did need a break; she needed time to think about things. She had been rightfully upset by Tony today. And Ray, at the moment he would just complicate things. He was a good man, but she just wasn't in love with him like she was Tony.

She decided just to go to bed, she knew she wouldn't sleep but she could try. No matter how much she had on her mind. She dressed down into her underwear and a spaghetti strap top. As soon as she got comfortable her phone rang again. She sighed and leant over to pick it up; she expected it to be Ray. But she checked the caller ID this time to make sure and it was Gibbs. She hadn't spoken to him since he told her to take the rest of the day off and come back in the morning.

"Hello?" she answered. She wasn't given gruff orders for her to head back to work because he needed her, she wasn't given a casual 'are you ok?' talk to like she was expecting from him later tonight. He was very protective of her. No, what she got was a quiet line and a hushed, worried voice in reply.

"Ziva he's been shot" Gibbs stated. Ziva was sure she almost missed him he was that quiet. Her heart speed up, who had been shot? Tony? She hoped to god it wasn't him.

"What do you mean?" she asked, choking out the question.

"We were following up a lead at a warehouse and Tony got shot" Gibbs explained. She froze. She felt on the verge of crying just like that, her heart was twisting in pain at his words.

"Is he…" she couldn't find it in her to ask the rest of the sentence. He couldn't be dead, she just- no, no it just couldn't happen. Her last words to him couldn't be ones of hatred. She did not hate him, she loved him.

"He's in the hospital. He's in surgery right now, they're not sure if he'll make it though, he lost a lot of blood…" Gibbs replied. And the fact that her boss could only just finish his sentence made her worry more. If Gibbs had doubts about something you should be worrying. She found herself getting out of her bed so fast she almost tripped over something that lay on her floor. She didn't have time to see what it was though.

"What hospital?" she then asked.

"Bethesda" he replied.

"I am on my way" stated before closing her phone. She grabbed a random pair of jeans and a hoddie she found in the top of her draw. She slipped on some shoes, she wasn't really sure what, anything was going to do.

She ran out her door after grabbing her keys and she almost took out one of her neighbors coming down the hallway, she didn't have anytime to stop, apologize and chat though. Just a quick 'sorry' and she was gone. How many traffic violations did she do on her way to the hospital? She had no idea, she was way too emotional to even worry about that, it would be well into double figures though.

When she rushed to the reception they got a fright at her sudden entrance and immediate need to find Anthony DiNozzo. Finally after flashing her badge and giving them the deadliest glare she could give, they directed her. And the people in the waiting room gave her weird looks when she ran, but she didn't care. She found herself in quiet and empty hallways and that's when she found everyone.

Gibbs was standing in the middle of the hallway with Abby in his arms. Abby was crying into his chest and Ziva could see the make-up running down her cheeks. Even though he was involved in a hug right now, Gibbs looked very tense and ten years older. McGee was standing next to them both, not sure what to do. He was frozen still. Lost. She could see the blood stains on his hands and shirt. Even if Tony was going to make it, McGee would take the experience hard.

Ziva walked over to them slowly, she didn't want to go over there if she was honest, she knew the emotions of everyone else would affect her. She would find it harder to keep herself in check if she went over and she knew, but she went anyways. And it's like they felt her presence when she got close as Gibbs turned to look at her which caused Abby to look up. McGee had already looked up at her. And before she could get the details from Gibbs, Abby left Gibbs and crushed Ziva into a hug.

"Oh my god Ziva Tony's been shot! I can't believe this I mean he's my brother so he can't die, I won't let him and Gibbs told him he wasn't aloud to die yet so he cant die" Abby exclaimed, tears spilling from her eyes. Ziva held hers back as much as she could.

"He won't Abby, he won't die. You know he's strong" Ziva choked out, she hoped she was right. She hoped he was going to be ok. She looked up to find Gibbs watching her. He knew she wasn't sure about her own words, he knew she had doubts. He knew she was worried about Tony. So was he. And the fact that Gibbs was worried unsettled Ziva more but she managed to keep it together as much as she could.

Abby and McGee had left many hours later, Gibbs told them to go home and sleep and they would call if anything came up about Tony. It took a lot to get Abby to finally leave but Gibbs and Ziva both knew she wouldn't have left without McGee. They also knew McGee would be the strength for Abby at the moment; she wouldn't be able to do it without him. And McGee he would be as strong as he could for her, and himself. And for Tony.

Also Ducky and Palmer had come and gone as well, they had been stuck in the middle of an autopsy when it had happened. Palmer he just looked shocked, he hadn't had a good friend who had been shot before. And Ducky, she could tell he was worried about Tony after he had found the doctor and asked him questions. When the doctor didn't give him much to go by Ducky knew it looked bad.

Vance had visited briefly. Maybe it was just because he was the 'boss' and in charge of all his agents because Ziva could tell he didn't really want to be there. She watched him and Gibbs have a discussion just down the hallway. She knew Vance had never really liked Tony anyway for some reason, she could always see it on the director's face when he talked with Tony.

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><p>She sat there now, next to his bedside ever since he came out of surgery, holding his hand in hers and Gibbs sat across the room and just watched her. Gibbs had always found their relationship to be something…well something that was very unexplained. The fact that the last time they saw each other there was screaming and fighting, even a few harsh shoves from her end, here they were. He was still asleep since he had closed his eyes at the scene after getting shot and there she was, holding back the tears that were built up and she was holding onto his hand as if it was a lifeline.<p>

He knew something had gone down between them without his knowledge but he also knew it had happened and then stopped because of his rules. If he thought about it he didn't think he could let that rule apply to them much longer. It would do less harm not being in the middle of them. They were both very closed people when it comes to emotions but the emotions they shared between them were the type of feelings that you don't come by easily. It takes years to get to what they have. And he wasn't going to let what they had go to waste, not with how much hurt it was bringing the two of them.

He watched Ziva fall asleep at her partners side, her head had slowly fallen on the bed next to their joined hands. The exhaustion of the past few days had caught up to her, he knew how tired she would have been, not just physically but emotionally too. The last 24hours between the two of them had been very hard. Things had been said that had hurt and tears had been shed.

He didn't think the two of them would ever result to such a high level of emotions in front of everyone, to be honest he thought they would have just ended up sleeping together and continue to without anyone knowing. But they hadn't continued to do so and things had gotten so heavy between them that they snapped. He knew it wouldn't have been just one of them that snapped, they always did things together.

And he didn't miss the looks they always sent each other when they thought no one else was looking, he saw it. It wasn't hard to miss the strength of their gaze, how much love and want it shared. If he was totally honest what they had was much stronger than what he and Jenny had. He and Jenny had lust between them and grew love after that. Tony and Ziva, sure they had that lust but they didn't act on it, not until they were so much in love that they would risk it. They were much closer than he and Jenny had ever been.

The door opened next to him and he thought it was going to be Tony's doctor. It wasn't. It was EJ Barrett. She looked at Gibbs and then when her gaze looked over at Tony with Ziva at his side like that she stopped in her tracks. Gibbs watched her process the scene; she hadn't expected things to be just so close between the two. Sure she believed they had something going on, but not so close, you could tell how strong the bond between them was by standing in the room with the two sleeping partners.

She decided not to come into the room like she had previously decided to, she looked over to Gibbs.

"I was just going to come see if he was ok, before I headed back to Spain" Barrett whispered to Gibbs. Gibbs nodded; Barrett was headed back to where she came from. Sure she was a pretty good agent but on his turf it wasn't a good mix, too much pissing matches would happen between them to call it civil.

"He hasn't woken up yet but I think he'll be ok" Gibbs assured her quietly. EJ gave him a nod and before she slipped out saying 'goodbye, let me know when he's awake and ok' and she took one last look at the partners. He didn't miss the glitter of envy in her eyes. But she was a strong woman and she and Tony weren't that involved and so she would step aside for stronger matters. Matters of the heart between two partners. She wasn't a bad woman so she wouldn't be one to stand in between something so inevitable.

He had assured her Tony would be alright but he wasn't medically sure. The doctors hadn't told him anything about Tony's condition yet.

About an hour later Tony's doctor came into the room. Gibbs was the only one awake and walked outside of the room to talk to the doctor about Tony's condition.

"He do alright in the surgery?" Gibbs asked as soon as they were out in the quiet hallway. It was about two in the morning and the hospital seemed deserted.

"We removed the bullet no problem, he was very lucky that it missed his shoulder joint by a very small distance" the doctor explained.

"How come he hasn't woken up then doc?" Gibbs pressed. Sure he should have woken up by now. Gibbs saw the flicker in the experienced doctor's eyes. Something wasn't right.

"He lost a lot of blood at the scene and he has been under heavy sedatives, it might take a little for him to wake up but I suggest he will by midday" the doctor replied. Gibbs couldn't help but feel as though the doctor was keeping something from him.

"You really think that doc?" Gibbs asked, raising his eyebrows. The steely blue glare Gibbs was sending the doctor must have unnerved him, because the doctor cracked under the gaze.

"Normally the patient would wake a few hours after surgery and Anthony did not" he explained. Gibbs wondered what that meant for Tony, it didn't sound too good.

"So what does that mean for him?" Gibbs asked. To say he wasn't extremely nervous and worried in one would be a lie. He was damn worried. The doctor sighed and looked down at his clipboard, away from Gibbs.

"Mr Gibbs, I'm not sure if Anthony will wake up from his comatose state. I've seen it before in situations like this where they just don't ever wake up, the massive blood loss gives the body a internal shock and their mind gets stuck in a dream state" the doctor said. Tony couldn't stay like that forever could he? Gibbs needed him, god dammit Ziva needed him even more. He couldn't give up on his life just yet. Tony was too strong for that.

"What's the rate of them waking up?" Gibbs asked.

"If they don't wake after a week normally they won't ever wake up" the doctor replied.

"Well what can we do about it? How can we wake him up, I'm sure you have some drugs or something that could wake him up?" Gibbs pressed.

"I'm sorry Gibbs but there is nothing else we can do but wait" the doctor said.

"And if that doesn't work?" Gibbs asked. The doctor's eyes flickered away again.

"Pray Mr Gibbs, that's all there is left to do" the doctor stated before his pager went off at his hip and he had to leave.

Gibbs felt his heart pain at the words. Tony, he may never wake up and there was nothing he could physically do about it. He didn't know what to do, he was a physical man and there was nothing. He walked into the room and the two occupants were right where he left them. He walked over to the side of Tony's bed and looked down at the two of them. If he didn't make it, they both wouldn't. Ziva wouldn't be the same if he didn't pull through.

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><p>Three days she had been sitting right here, right by his side, waiting for him to wake up. But still he didn't. When Gibbs wouldn't tell her she found his doctor and he told her that if he didn't wake up after a week, he may never wake up again. And slowly, she was losing it. Each day that past was one that got him closer to the point where he may not return.<p>

She is almost at breaking point, she had kept it together but she could feel herself slipping, she was going to breakdown. Each night since it happened she had been here, at his side, holding his hand, clutching to the life of him. She whispered to him, telling him, asking him to wake up, but he has yet to open those eyes and stare back at her. Gibbs has told her to go home and rest, but she cannot, she cannot leave his side.

And tonight she couldn't take it anymore, she broke. She was sitting next to him, holding his hand, pleading him to wake up, telling him that she needed him. Gibbs stood to the side of the room, she had gotten used to him standing there as she sat with Tony like this, talking to him like this. She lost it when the tears that had been built up over the past few days, even maybe the past week, escaped. She sobbed and leant her head on the bed.

As she cried she felt Gibbs' hand rest on her back softly and she lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were bloodshot from not enough sleep and now the crying, she had dark bags under her eyes. She didn't look good. Gibbs opened his arms out; she stood and took the offer. She hugged tight to him, clinging to him.

"He can't die, he can't" she managed to sob out as her tears escaped, sending trembles through her body. She gripped his shirt, if she didn't she thought she may fall. He held his arms around her, holding her to her feet.

"He won't Ziver, I will not let him leave us like this" Gibbs replied. He would not allow Tony to do this; he hadn't given him the permission to die yet. He wouldn't give it to him. She couldn't manage words after that, only tears and sobs. She couldn't stop, she had let go and she needed to get it all out. All this emotion that had been bottled up needed to be let go.

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><p><strong>It was sad writing this, I hope I didn't upset too many of you with how emotional this was. I will update as soon as I can for all you wonderful readers! <strong>

**Hundan**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all for the reviews on the last chapter, I have been busy and got the next chapter done for you. I couldn't leave you hanging for too long when you are all waiting on Tony's fate. Enjoy!**

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><p>Two days later and she was sitting next to him again, his hand in hers. Even though she had Gibbs' word she was beginning to expect the worst. But that's when it happened. His hand moved in hers. She looked up suddenly, looking to his face. His eyes were still closed, he still wasn't moving. Did she just imagine that?<p>

She didn't pull her eyes from him, she squeezed his hand back. She didn't want to imagine that, she wanted it to be real.

"Tony _please_ wake up" she whispered. Then his lips slightly moved and his hand squeezed hers again. No she wasn't imagining this.

"You can do it Tony" she whispered in hope, she squeezed his hand again and brought her other one up and ran it through the side of his hair.

"I am right here, open your eyes…" she said quietly. His eyes fluttered lightly but didn't quite open, and his lips moved again, this time like he was going to say something but nothing came out. Yet. She felt herself gripping his hand tighter.

"Ziva?" he whispered, so quietly she had to strain to hear the words. His eyes flickered again and they opened. His soft greens eyes gazed right at her. She felt tears form in her eyes.

"Tony" she whispered in relief, he was awake; he wasn't going to die on her. A tear streaked down her cheek.

"Why…why are you crying?" he choked out, not being awake had made his voice go raspy. She shook her head. When she did he brought his hand up to cup the side of her face.

"Ziva? Why?" he asked again, it looked as though he was about to cry himself because he knew her tears were because of him.

"I…I thought I was going to lose you" she replied, a sob shook her body. She really thought he wasn't going to make it. He wiped away another tear that had fallen. She looked down at him through her tear filled eyes. He didn't need to say anything, he moved his arm slightly to the side and she gently lay down against his good shoulder, avoiding his bullet punctured other one.

He was tired and he hurt like hell, his chest was aching, but he didn't care. His heart hurt more by the look he had seen in her eyes, she really thought he wasn't going to make it. And she was very upset by that, it had torn her apart, he could see. And right now, she was crying against him, her hands clinging to the parts of him that she wouldn't hurt. His hand was in her hair, holding her to him.

And to think that the last time they spoke they were yelling at each other in hate? He hated himself for fighting with her, what if he hadn't made it and his last words to her were ones of hatred?

"I'm sorry" he suddenly whispered into her hair. Tears pricking at his eyes. She lifted her head and looked down at him, her cheeks tear stained. He suddenly just realized that she looked as though she hadn't had much sleep, she hadn't eaten much. She must have been here by his side the whole time he was asleep.

"No, I am the one who is sorry Tony" she replied. She knew what he was talking about; she could see the worry and apologetic look in his eyes. She had been thinking the same thing since she had found out he was in a coma, that her last words to him were her yelling at him not to touch her. When what she wished for was his touch. He shook his head; he would not let her make this her fault when he knew it was his.

He brought his hand back to her cheek and gently tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I am sorry Ziva, not you, it was _my _fault, _I _screwed up. All I can ask for now is your forgiveness?" he stated. She closed her eyes and leant down until her forehead rested against his softly. She opened her eyes.

"I forgive you Tony" she whispered and brought her hand up to the side of his face and ran her fingers over the stubble he had grown while in his coma. He gazed into her eyes for a short moment.

"I will never break any promise to you again Ziva. Never" he stated, he never wanted to hurt her like he did again.

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><p>The doctor released Tony two days later, as long as he was under care. Everyone had offered to look after Tony for the next week or two (which was how long the doctor had instructed he was not to be alone). However there was one person who the role had fallen to, mainly because of her insistence and persuasion. Ziva. Gibbs was worried about letting her take care of him; they had just got out of a massive fight between them.<p>

But upon walking in and seeing the two agents, wrapped in each others arms crying quietly once he had awoken, he figured maybe things would be alright. Maybe it was something that they needed to get back on their feet as partners. Because last time he saw them together they definitely weren't acting like partners. He _needed _their partnership to recover. He knew they weren't special agents Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David, two separate people. They were Tony and Ziva, a whole, something that didn't come separate. You get one, the other comes with it.

He couldn't see the two of them being able to handle a different partner; sure they could both work with McGee and him great, but anyone else it just wouldn't work. The connection the two of them had together wasn't something you would find easy in work partners, the relationship they had ran deep.

He knew why too. If you asked him he would tell you it didn't exist, it was rumor and myth. But honestly Gibbs knew that his two agents had feelings for each other. Strong ones at that. Ever since the first day Ziva had strolled into the bullpen he knew she would get a reaction out of Tony. And then she was signed to work in his team and he knew that she and Tony would have a testing relationship.

Over the years all that flirting and tension they had between the two of them was unbearable sometimes and Gibbs found himself giving out a lot of head slaps. And definitely with all the jealously they had between each other was a sign to Gibbs that feelings were more than just lust. When they thought Ziva had died on that ship, Tony was the worst.

You wouldn't have noticed unless you knew him like Gibbs did. He drank so much more, he came to work sleep deprived, he couldn't focus. A few nights Tony had come over to his, not talking, just sat in his basement and drunk his bourbon. Gibbs didn't need to hear it from the younger mans mouth to know that he was missing her, that he grieved for her so much. That he needed the comfort of being in someone else's presence on those nights to stay sane.

He had only found out after talking to McGee about the fight a week ago that Tony and Ziva had only slept together once, in Paris. He knew well what that was like, he and Jenny had done the inevitable in the same city many years ago. Tony and Ziva were like him and Jenny, but they were so different than them all at the same time.

Tony and Ziva, they were in love, even if they didn't know it yet he could tell they were. You could see it in their eyes; you couldn't miss the way they looked at each other. He thought they were going their own ways when Ray had come onto the scene and Tony started fooling around with EJ. But then there was that fight, he will _never _forget that, what he witnessed between his two agents.

They were crushed, heart broken. And now? Now he hoped for a change in that, he hoped they would pull through and sort out where they stood together. He knew they would either, go separate ways and he would lose one off his team (he couldn't have that, they couldn't do that. They needed each other there as partners), or they ended up together in a personal relationship.

He could handle that. He could live with that. If it meant his team would stay in tact his rules could be broke this once. Why? Because there is always one exception to a rule, and _they_ were that exception to _that_ rule. He had known from the start that they were.

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><p>She drove him to his house as soon as he was released. They hadn't talked much in the two days after he was awake, he had been taken by the doctors and doing tests, and then Gibbs, Ducky, Abby, McGee and Palmer had all shown up when they heard the news he was awake. Trying to get time in between them was actually something Ziva found difficult. Yes she could have talked to him when others were in the room but really the things they need to talk about didn't need other ears listening in.<p>

She had watched him through the corner of her eye the whole way home to his, occasionally looking across at him. He was leaning against the window, he looked very tired. Drained. His eyes were closed but she could tell he hadn't fallen asleep yet. She pulled into a car park at his apartment block and turned in her seat to look at him. She reached out and placed her hand gently on his arm.

"Tony" she said quietly. His eyes opened and met hers.

"Hmm" was all he managed in reply. He must have been close to being asleep.

"Shall we get you upstairs so you can sleep?" she asked. He nodded.

She got out of her seat and went over to his side. She looped her arm around his waist as she walked him up to his apartment. He could walk by himself but he was so tired, so sore, that she knew her helping would make it so much easier. By the time she had him lying back on his bed he looked like he was in pain. His hand was fisted on his chest just below his wound and his eyes were clamped shut.

She took a seat on the bed next to his hip and when she placed her hand atop of his that was on his chest his eyes opened and looked up at her.

"Do you want some painkillers?" she asked him. His hand turned under hers and softly wrapped around her hand.

"Please" he replied. She gave his hand a small squeeze and smiled at him softly before standing up and going to retrieve his relief. The doctor had told her all the things she needed to know about taking care of him but she didn't really listen fully, she knew very well how to care for bullet wounds. She had dealt with enough of them in her career with her past partners in Mossad and even herself.

After returning he downed the painkillers with the water she brought him and he leant back into the mattress. She had removed his shoes and placed a blanket over him before sitting down at his side again. His eyes were blinking slowly; he was close to falling asleep. She brought her hand up to the side of his hair and ran it through gently.

"Get some rest. I will be here when you wake" she told him. He nodded and placed his hand on her thigh.

"Thank you Zi" he stated quietly. She smiled and leant forward until her lips placed a small kiss to his forehead.

"You are welcome" she whispered above his skin. When she leant back his eyes were closed and his hand still rested on her leg as he snored softly. She knew she was just as tired so she stood and quietly removed her shoes before climbing onto the other side of the bed. She lay on her side facing him and she gathered his hand up in hers, interlocking their fingers. She wasn't going anywhere but staying right by his side.

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><p>When he woke he couldn't really remember where he was. Once he opened his eyes he recognized his bedroom and knew he must be home. But then there was that warmth next to him and holding onto his hand. He turned his head and found Ziva sleeping softly next to him, holding onto his hand. He smiled at that, this is what he had wanted with her, but not as a result of him having a near death experience. He wanted to be with her and spend his mornings and nights with her in his arms.<p>

He realized then what had woken him in the beginning, there was a stabbing pain in his chest. Why did he have to get shot? Seriously it hurt like a bitch right now and the painkillers he remembers that Ziva had given him must have worn off. He felt like crap. He hadn't had a proper shower since his injury, and bringing his hand up to his jaw he could tell he really needed a shave.

That on top of the fact his chest hurt, his body ached, his head pounded. The only thing that was good right now was Ziva's presence and her hand in his. He silently thanked for her persistence, there wasn't anyone else he would rather have around right now, when he was so down and fragile. She always made him feel better when she was sweet to him, like last night when she had taken care of him.

Ziva's phone went off then and she was woken from her slumber. She had really needed the rest as much as he did, and what he had gathered from what McGee had told him, she hadn't slept much or done hardly anything while he was at the hospital. When her eyes opened she looked up to him and when she noticed he was staring down at her he was sure she had blushed slightly.

She gently removed her hand from his and picked up her phone. He could tell it was Gibbs by the look on her face. She smiled at him before leaving the room. He could still hear the conversation from his bedroom, by the sounds of things Gibbs was asking how he was and then asking how she was. She had replied saying they both are fine and that he had been alright so far, she was just getting him some more painkillers.

How was it she knew without asking what he needed? Ziva was mysterious like that sometimes but he liked the fact she could read him so well. Then it sounded like Gibbs had told Ziva he would come by later with some stuff for her, gathering from the fact of the list of things she had given him to pick up for her from her apartment.

She was really going to let Gibbs search through her apartment and pack her bags for her? Would Gibbs actually want to do that? Tony knew he would gather Abby's help on that one, he knew his boss wouldn't be fond of raiding Ziva's personal stuff to find everything she needed. That would be much suited by another woman friend to do.

When Ziva returned she had the next dose of painkillers for him. He took them gratefully and hoped they would kick in soon. She sat down next to him on the bed again.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Sore, tired, like in need a good clean and shave" he stated, shooting her a smile at the same time. She brought her hand up to his jaw, running her fingers over his stubble.

"I kind of like this look on you" she smiled down at him. She had never really seen him with this much stubble before. He always had to shave it for work, or Gibbs would give him grief for it. The way she was looking at him and touching his face like that made his heart tighten. He had forgotten just _how _much it affected him when she touched him like this. So softly, so caring, so lovingly.

"You don't like it shaved?" he asked, digging for what she really liked about his facial hair. They had never really had a conversation about it before, only his hair, his chest hair and his butt hair (which he swears he doesn't have but she continues to tease him about it). She continued to run her fingers along his jaw.

"No, I like it shaved, this is just… I don't know, I just like it on you for some reason" she replied. Maybe he won't shave then, he has a while off work at the moment and so Gibbs wouldn't give him grief about it. If she liked it… he could just keep it on for a little while. She stared down at him for awhile while he smiled up at her.

"Did you want to take a shower, or a bath?" she asked, breaking the silence. She knew he was a real softy for his baths, he preferred them over showers if he had the time.

"Yeah, that actually sounds good" he smiled up at her. He thought she was going to get up and move away then but she didn't, she sat there and looked down at him with that light smile. He didn't mind her not moving either, he loved the feel of her fingers running across his jaw like that, and he could sit and stare at her for hours like this.

When she didn't say anything he asked her a question that was on his mind.

"Have you even gone home since I got into hospital?" he asked, bringing his hand up to the side of her face and hooked the dangly curls around her ear. He watched her face drop slightly, she didn't want him to know that she hadn't taken care of herself properly when he was in hospital; she knew he wouldn't like it.

"Once or twice, only briefly to shower and change, no longer than half an hour" she replied. She wasn't going to lie to him. He sighed and his hand came to her cheek softly.

"Ziva you should have stayed home and looked after yourself" he replied quietly.

"I wanted to be by your side, I didn't want to leave you" she replied just as quietly. Her eyes flickered away from his in that moment. He ran his thumb across her cheek.

"Hey Zi, look at me" he asked. She turned slowly and looked down at him.

"Thank you, for being there for me, you don't know how much it actually meant to wake up and see you there" he smiled softly. Her hand moved and ran into the side of his hair gently.

"I wouldn't have rather been anywhere else" she stated. She felt like she wanted to bring up some things about there fight right now, to talk it over, justify things, and she could see in his eyes he felt the same thing. But she wanted to wait a little bit, she didn't want to just yet.

"So how about I get that bath running for you?" she asked. He nodded and reluctantly she let go of him and he of her and she went and filled his bath for him.

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><p><strong>I couldn't kill Tony; we all love him too much for me to do that :) <strong>

**Next chapter will be up soon.**

**Hundan**


	5. Chapter 5

She had just left him in the bathroom when she heard her name being called out. She returned and saw him standing there with a pained expression on his face.

"Um can you help me, I can't get my shirt off without it hurting" he asked, giving her a sweet smile she couldn't say no to. She smiled back and walked into the bathroom. Lifting his good arm she pulled the shirt off that arm and his head, after she slowly slid it down off his arm that had the wounded shoulder. He gave her a smile, that hadn't hurt like his attempt had.

She looked down at the bandages that covered his right shoulder.

"I think I should take these off too, I'll put some clean ones on after you're done" she stated and brought her hands up to his shoulder and softly removed his bandages, trying her best to not hurt him. Once she was done she inspected the wound. He had quite a few stitches which patched up the hole that had ripped into his shoulder. And from her experience it looked like a pretty good patch up job, considering a lot of the ones she had seen were done by herself or Mossad agents and not by trained professionals.

Her eyes began to wonder, she took in his chest. She hadn't seen him shirtless since Paris. He wasn't the most muscular man on the planet but what he had was a healthy and fit look, he looked normal. And for some reason Ziva loved that, maybe it was just because it was him and she just loved everything about him. And his chest hair, god she had always loved that on him, ever since their undercover mission.

"So Ziva do you find scars sexy?" he asked. Stopping her wondering thoughts. She hadn't expected a question like that from him. When she looked up he was giving her a cheeky little grin. She brought her hand up to his cheek and smiled back.

"You will never know" she replied, leaning in closer to him "Now, go have your bath" she stated playfully, tapping his cheek lightly and headed out the door with a gentle laugh at his amused face. They always loved messing with and teasing each other, it just hadn't happened in a while.

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><p>Once he had finished his bath (which took a good hour where she had napped) he was standing in the bathroom in a pair of basketball shorts, ready for her to bandage him up again. Her fingers were gentle against his skin, cool against his heated flesh. He watched down at her as she clean it with something that burned, most likely a disinfectant of some sort and then she placed bandages over his wound.<p>

She was concentrating and it looked as though she really knew what she was doing.

"Have you done this before?" he found himself asking. I slipped from his lips before he thought about it. Of course she would have been involved in this sort of thing before he knew her, he just didn't know if he should bring up that past of hers. Her eyes moved from his chest up to his, she looked up at him for a short while before speaking, she was thinking about what to say, and he knew with Ziva that meant it was something personal to her.

"Yes, many times in my life in Mossad I had to do this to my partner or myself" she replied. She had never actually admitted to him before about her battle wounds from Mossad, he had seen some of her scars but hadn't asked about them in Paris, he hadn't wanted to ruin the moment between them. He didn't want her to run away from him; she did that sometimes when he pushed her too far with personal things.

"You had to do it to yourself?" he asked, trying to see if she was going to let him in or not. He wasn't sure after their fight where exactly they stood now but he wanted to find out. She nodded gently before focusing back on his shoulder as she talked.

"I have been shot three times, once in Cairo, Russia and Serbia" she sated, like it was nothing. He pained at hearing how much she had been damaged in her past work, was it really normal for someone to be shot that much while on the job? In her past profession he guessed it was, but he couldn't stand the thought of her in pain like that. When he got quiet and didn't reply, she continued. His eyes said he wanted to know but he didn't want to ask. He didn't want to pressure her.

"In Cairo I was with Jenny, she actually saved my life when I got a round in my left thigh. In Serbia I got winged, it wasn't too bad but my partner stitched it and we were on our way to the next mission and I had to take care of it when I could. However in Russia I got hit in the side of the leg, I had to deal to that myself, my partner was worse off, he didn't return from that mission" she explained the last bit quietly. He could tell it was hard to let stuff like this out but the thing was she had never been so open and honest about this stuff with him, he didn't know much about her Mossad life and the fact she was letting him in gave him hope to their battered relationship. She was concentrating on his shoulder still and her small fingers ghosted over his skin as she patched him up.

He wove his hand into the side of her hair to bring her face up to look at his.

"You're the strongest woman I know Ziva" he told her. It brought a small smile to her face so he was glad for that.

"I didn't have much of a choice, I was brought up to be like that, withstand pain" she stated in a quiet voice. He knew she wasn't proud of who she was in Mossad, of what she had done. He didn't know how many people she had killed and how many partners she had lost but he knew it would have been a high number for both. He didn't believe in living in the past though and he knew she lived for her future, and her time now.

She had come so far from that sassy untamed assassin that walked into his life all those years ago, now she was a special agent, one of the best. She was an American now, leaving her old life behind and becoming someone new. She was a woman who wasn't afraid to show her emotions and feelings sometimes. Paris had really shown him that, and moments like yesterday when he woke to finding her crying at his bedside. She wouldn't have been like that six years ago.

"And you've grown from that, into a woman who knows what she wants and does what _she _wants to do in her life" he stated, running his fingers through her hair softly. She smiled again. For some reason in the moments they had like this, the ones where she was honest and open with him, he always knew what to say.

"I'm getting there" she replied. Still smiling. She ran her hand off his shoulder and down his arm to his hand where she held onto it gently. He wrapped his fingers around hers. He wanted to tell her how much he felt then. But when he went to say it he choked up. He couldn't get it out and it hurt worse than anything that he couldn't. He was sure she could tell, she smiled at him lightly before lifting her free hand to the side of his face and leant in and kissed him on the corner of his mouth softly.

He wanted to really kiss her, everything that was happening was reminding him of Paris and he wanted that but she pulled back and looked at him.

"You should go lie down for a bit, I'll wake you up for dinner?" she whispered. He hadn't actually realized he was tired until she pointed it out and he really did feel quite drained. Maybe she knew him better than he did himself?

"Ok, thank you" he whispered in return and slowly lowered his hand from her curls and gave her a small smile. He knew that he wasn't going to wait too long; he was going to tell her how he felt. He just had to get his voice to start working with his heart.

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><p>Gibbs had gotten Abby to help him gather some things from Ziva's that she would need. Abby seemed to know where everything was and he was grateful he didn't have to search and spend hours trying to find it all. Also he didn't really like the idea of going through Ziva's personal stuff, it would be like digging through his daughters stuff, and he couldn't really do that and be comfortable about it.<p>

After he knocked quietly on Tony's apartment door Ziva answered. She still looked tired but seemed a bit more relaxed than she was in the hospital. Her hair was wet from (what looked like) she just got out of the shower. And the large OSU hoddie and basketball shorts that were just visible under the hoddie were definitely not hers.

"Ziver, I got your things" he sent her a small smile.

"Thank you, come in" she replied in a quiet voice. He handed her the bag and she put it behind Tony's couch.

"How is he?" Gibbs asked.

"He is sleeping right now, I just changed his bandages before, it looks good from what I can see" she told him. He looked thankful at the news.

"He sleeping ok?"

"Yeah, he slept ok when I brought him home last night and he's been in a bit of pain but the painkillers are helping that" she stated as she walked down the hallway. Gibbs followed and she quietly opened Tony's bedroom door. He was lying on his back with his arms and legs out to the side, snoring softly. Gibbs did notice both sides of the bed had been disturbed. He turned and looked to Ziva and she quietly closed the door again.

"How have you been?" he then asked her after they walked back to the kitchen and she began to make coffee.

"I have been fine Gibbs, I did not get shot" she replied softly as she got out two mugs. He came up next to her.

"No but your partner got shot and you pretty much stayed next to his hospital bed the whole time unless I insisted you went home, and you have been upset. You can talk to me Ziver, I'm not just your boss, you mean more than that to me and I am just looking out for you" Gibbs stated and she turned around and looked at him at the honest heartfelt words he had just expressed. It wasn't very often you would get to experience Gibbs like this. Ziva sighed.

"I have been stressed and upset but I am ok because he is ok and he is handling very well at the moment" she stated. He was glad she was talking to him, he realized that in the past few years she would share her thoughts a lot easier about everything but the one thing she would keep bottled up from him (for good reason because he had rules and was the boss) was about Tony.

"So you two are ok with each other?" he asked. She looked up and met his gaze, she knew he was talking about the fight they had before the incident. She didn't know if she should avoid talking about this with her boss, lie and get him believing something or just tell him the truth. She settled with the truth, he did say he wasn't just her boss and that was true, he meant much more to her, and Tony, than that. He was like a father to them. They both looked up to him.

He deserved their honesty.

"Yes we are fine, we have been talking a bit, not about what happened the other day, but I think we will get there soon" she replied. He was surprised she was honest, he expected her to deflect his question.

"So you haven't been fighting right?" he asked, making sure. He didn't want them to be fighting when Tony was fragile like he is with his wound.

"No, no I don't think there will be anymore fighting. I think we have done enough of that over the years. I think…I think it is just time to be honest for once. We will see" she stated. After realizing what she had admitted to her boss she worried for a moment but then when she looked up at him again he wasn't mad, he was…understanding.  
>It actually felt good to let it out.<p>

"You gonna let me in on what happened that started everything the other day?" Gibbs asked. She knew he wasn't prying; she didn't have to tell him. But she felt like she wanted to.

"In Paris something happened, but we decided not to bring it back home because you have your rules and we respect that and then stuff happened and we got in an argument…" Ziva sighed. Thinking back she hated arguing with him like she did. Gibbs knew what that 'stuff' that had happened was, EJ. He knew Tony breaking the rule with her had cut Ziva deep. He now knew why. They had made a deal, a promise not to bring it home but then everything had hit the fan when Tony hadn't thought something through. He knew Tony wouldn't have meant to hurt Ziva; he cared way too much for her to purposely hurt her.

"That city holds memories for a lot of people that they never forget, you won't forget it, trust me" Gibbs explained. Ziva handed him his coffee and stared at him. Did he really just share something personal with her about his love life? They sat down at the bar bench. He really did just share something personal with her.

"Jenny?" Ziva asked very quietly. She didn't know what to really say. Gibbs nodded.

"Yeah" he said softly. She took a sip of her drink as she watched him, he was obviously thinking back to those memories.

"You know before I met you when I was in Cairo with Jenny she would always talk about you. Granted I didn't know who you were then, when I met you I expected someone quite different than who I got, you were different with Jenny by the stories she told me" Ziva said. He looked across at her and smiled lightly, he didn't know Jenny had talked about him to Ziva before but it sounded like such a Jenny thing to do, before she was director.

"I was different all those years ago" he stated "Before Jenny" he added.

"She changed you didn't she?" Ziva asked. She was starting to understand her boss a lot more, why he was how he was.

"Yeah. When she wanted to leave everything behind to go on with her career, leave me behind, I had nothing else but work left. It changed me and I focused on my work because that's what I had in front of me" he stated. For a man that didn't open up much Ziva had him really talking, maybe when he was worried and had been stressed he talked more. Tony had certainly made him worried and stressed. Ziva had seen it.

"You loved her didn't you? And she left?" Ziva asked and he looked up at her, he hadn't expected her to say that. She saw it in his face though, he had loved her, and she had broken his heart.

"It's hard to let go, it changes you" Ziva then added when Gibbs didn't speak. He stared at her.

"I lost a lover once, when I was twenty one, we had been together for four years and he just left and I never ever saw him again, I changed. And to ever think I would loose Tony, it would change me so much. I don't think I could work without him; it just wouldn't be the same. I have been thinking about that for the last few days, when he wasn't waking up. It made me a mess" she continued to explain, feeling tears form but she didn't let them escape. And he understood where she was coming from, she was right, he had experienced it himself. He had changed.

"Whatever you do Ziva, don't give up on each other. If you're serious about doing something about what you have I don't want you to muck it up, I don't want to see the two of you end up like me and Jenny. We were both alone because we couldn't fully love anyone else" he explained and she took that to heart. She wasn't going to ruin this if Tony wanted to give it a chance. Gibbs was giving his silent permission that he was going to look the other way if it meant he had his family all together on his team. Gibbs was actually encouraging them to do this, almost.

"If it doesn't work?" she asked, if the worst of the worst happened she wanted to know what he would think.

"I hope your partnership can survive because it's one of the best I've seen. And I don't want to lose it" he replied.

She and Tony's relationship didn't just affect their personal lives it affected their work partnership and she knew that. That's also why they have never taken that risk before; it was just too much to lose. But now with the way things were and the feelings they had that were bubbling at the surface right now she didn't think it would stay how it had been much longer. It was inevitable, they had said that once, talking about Gibbs and Jenny but really who were they trying to kid? Of course they were talking about each other that night too.

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><p>A little while later Gibbs had headed out, it was getting later and he had a boat and bourbon to attend to. After such a personal talk with her he was going to need it. After he was gone she made some dinner for herself and Tony. She was glad Tony was getting some rest; he needed to rest, to help him recover easier. He didn't need to stress his shoulder.<p>

He smiled at her when he realized she had made him dinner. He thanked her constantly for making it for him; she continued to tell him he was welcome and didn't need to thank her. After eating she told him to stay and relax in bed, he didn't need to get up. He smiled at her again when she came back into his room with some of his movies to watch.

She put in one of the movies.

"Are you going to watch it with me?" he asked her. She put the movie case next to his TV on the dresser.

"I was going to go wash the dishes first" she replied.

"No don't worry about that, I'll help you do them tomorrow. Come, sit with me" he stated, smiling over at her as he patted the bed next to him. She decided to listen to him and went over and climbed on the bed right next to him. He smiled across at her and they watched the movie.

The end credits rolled to the movie and Tony looked down to where Ziva's head rested on his good shoulder and her hand rested lightly on his stomach. He knew she was asleep, he could just hear her soft snores in the background of the movies music. She had snuggled up to him when his hand found its way to hers and laced his fingers with hers.

He enjoyed being like this with her, so close and personal. This is what he wants from her, regularly and permanent, but he just doesn't know what this happening right now means exactly to them.

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><p><strong>One more chapter to go guys! <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok so last chapter, I know its shorter than the rest but this is how I wanted to finish :) Enjoy.**

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><p>He didn't go to sleep; he had slept enough in the day. He just lay there, relaxing in the feeling of her resting on him like this, his arm around her back as he traced small patterns up and down her back while she slept soundly. His wound was starting to hurt quite a bit and he knew he was probably about due to have some more painkillers but he really didn't want to move.<p>

By the time his shoulder started hurting he couldn't fall asleep, the pain was too distracting. Then Ziva stirred and she moved her head in his direction, blinking her eyes to focus on him as she inhaled a deep breath.

"Hmm has the movie finished?" she asked sleepily. He smiled.

"Yeah, it finished about an hour ago" he replied. She moved slightly to stretch a bit but her hand still rested on his stomach.

"You could have woken me up, I was meant to give you some more painkillers" she stated. She was always worried about him and it amazed him, (even if just as a partner) how lucky he was to have her. She cared for him.

"No it's ok, you were tired, I didn't want to wake you up" he replied, smiling at her softly. And yeah, he cared for her too. Her hand moved on his chest slightly, her fingers making a random pattern on his chest.

"How are you feeling anyway?" she asked.

"It's sore, burning a bit at the moment but I'll survive" he replied.

"Do you want me to get you some more painkillers?" she asked, half getting up.

"I can go get them" he tried to stop her but she was already up.

"No, it is ok, you lay down. I will be right back" she smiled. And she was right, she came right back with his drugs and a glass of water. He swallowed them in one go.

"Thank you" he stated and lay back down on the bed, this time climbing under the covers. She walked around the other side of the bed and climbed under also, sliding in close to him. He was on his back and she lay on her side facing him. She brought her hand up and ran her fingers over the stubble on his jaw.

"You didn't shave" she observed. She couldn't believe she had only just noticed, however he had been in bed most of the day.

"Na, I'd thought I might keep it like this for a while, you know since I'm not at work" he smiled across at her as her fingers still ran across his jaw.

"I thought you didn't like it?" she questioned.

"I'm just used to shaving it all the time, you know an automatic thing. Plus you said you liked it so image the chicks I could pick up with my scar _and_ stubble" he winked at her. She chuckled slightly.

"Oh the woman will be after you like crazy" she smirked, leaning in closer. He placed his hand atop of hers on his jaw. He gave her a serious look, he was not joking or teasing with his next comment, she could see it in his eyes.

"There's only one woman I'm interested in wanting me though" he said, locking with her eyes in an intense stare. She knew he wasn't meaning some random or EJ, it was clear in his eyes that he meant _her_. She felt her heart rate pick up slightly, they were going to have that conversation, she just knew it. His fingers molded around hers and entwined with them.

"I don't care what Gibbs says, I want you in my life, I want to be yours" he stated. And yeah, her heart rate went faster. Sure they had Paris but that was justified as just Paris, they hadn't made a deal to what they were going to have together, because they had decided to leave it in Paris. But now what they wanted was something so much different, something permanent. A relationship, together.

"I want you in my life too Tony and you know that, you have always known that, especially since Paris but do you think this can work? What we are taking about is something serious, something more than a simple few months here" she stated. Sure she could just say yes and they could get together, but with a relationship as complicated and fragile as theirs, it needed a proper discussion. She didn't want to do this if he wasn't sure, she didn't want to lose their partnership and friendship at an attempted relationship, which she had faith in but she wanted to make sure he was going to put into this just as much as she would.

He brought his free hand up and cupped her cheek.

"I think we can work Ziva, of course. I mean things may get a bit hard because of how we both are, but we will get through that, I want to have you and I would do _anything _to do it. We've had our ups and downs and then Paris we shared something special and I will never forget that moment but I want to make more moments. And I do want something permanent, I mean I am not getting any younger and I want to have someone, I don't want to be lonely the rest of my life. And you and I, we want much of the same thing and we have the feelings there" he explained. He was taking a dive into the feelings conversation. He normally avoided it but with Ziva he needed it to be addressed. His heart was racing a thousand miles an hour. She brought her hand up and ran it into the side of his hair.

"In Paris you showed me just how much you cared. I expected something much different but what you gave me… it was love" she stated, her breath catching at the last word. Both of them had never been ones to share their feelings easy.

"I wouldn't give you anything else Ziva, I…I love you and you deserve to be shown that" he replied after swallowing the lump caught in his throat. He watched the features change in her face from nervousness to relief and happiness as she smiled softly at him.

"I love you too Tony" she whispered in return. She leant forward and met his lips softly. His hand moved into her hair, holding her there. This was the best and most beautiful kiss he had shared with someone. It was full of love. She moved slightly and one of her legs slipped between his as they kissed a bit deeper, she moved her hands down to his chest and he yelped, pulling back from the kiss with a painful groan.

"I'm sorry Tony I forgot about your shoulder" she stated, worried now that she had hurt him. He chuckled none the less and she ended up laughing too.

"I guess we will have to finish this another time" he smiled, kissing her lips softly.

"No rush, I'm not going anywhere" she replied. He loved the fact that they were doing this, the relationship thing. He wouldn't rather have anyone else.

"Neither am I" he smiled and gave her one last peck before she snuggled into him. He sighed in relief and pulled her closer. After everything they have been through, all those years of flirting, avoiding, fighting and loving, they had finally come together. He wasn't going to let her go. Ever. Why? Because he loved her, and hell, she loved him back.

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><p><strong>I think the rest can be left to the imagination :) Thank you to everyone for the reviewsalerts on my story, you are all fantastic! And you make my day. Hope you enjoyed this story. **

**Hundan**


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